Some of you may be old enough to remember the Charles Barkley commercial - I am Not a Role Model. It’s a commercial with Sir Charles more or less passing off the responsibility of anyone looking up to him. As an athlete, I think one could have that mentality if they choose. I don’t however believe a coach has that choice. You have influence whether you want to or not, and what you do with that responsibility is so important.
I can vividly remember a flag football coach shutting me down when I asked to play running back in 4th grade. You see, I was chunky as a elementary aged boy. When you’re a chunky little boy and want to play football, you usually get stuck playing the line. When I finally got the courage in practice to ask if I could play a position that actually touched the ball, I did not get the response I thought I’d get. My coach snapped. He yelled at me in front of the team. He told me that he got to decide who played what positions and I was not going to play running back. I’m sure you’re shocked to know that as a 10 year old, I didn’t have the maturity to handle that type of response. I cried and after practice told my mom what happened when she came to pick me up.
That hurt and I remember that moment to this day. I also remember that same coach stopping by my house after practice to apologize. My mom was still plenty upset with him but I really appreciated that gesture. Even as a little boy I knew that meant a lot to me. Fast forward almost 25 years later and that day at practice still teaches me lessons.
I know that I don’t ever want to treat a player the way that coach treated me. I know that my words matter and how I say those words also matter. I know that as a coach it’s not only okay to say you’re sorry and admit you’re wrong, it’s potentially the best way you can teach your players that we are imperfect. Coaches are not perfect. Our players are not perfect. We need to admit that and also acknowledge that it is perfectly okay. Our players will not be flawless and that’s why they need us. We as coaches will never be flawless either, and that’s why we have to strive to get better with humility.
Please never downplay your impact on your players. You are a bigger influence than you may give yourself credit for. Let’s just make sure that impact is a positive one. You don’t have a choice whether or not you have impact, so work hard to make that impact meaningful!
Thanks for reading!
Kyle Hanna
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